Humor as an act of resistance/driver of revolution: A Kenyan perspective
When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a sultan.The palace becomes a circus.
Turkish Proverb
Will this be funny? I have no idea.I have always thought I am a funny person until the draft to fight for Kenya via jokes came out, guys, this is very challenging because nothing can beat the magnitude of jokes being perfomed by William Ruto and his band of degenerates.It’s like watching a Dave Chapelle special in which he shoots his audience dead everytime they do not laugh. You know the biggest joke of this regime is? The government is writing itself cheques for services it did for itself, apparently, the jokes write themselves.
From Gachagua and Ichungwah’s vegeterian beef, to Germany denying that they have a deal to employ 250,000 kenyans, to the Adanification of national assets, we have become the butt of all dry jokes. Gachagua and Ruto think we are dumb, maybe it is because the sympathy card worked for two presidents and you know what they say, “Third time’s the Cham.“ No, it was not a typo, I actually meant cham, chang’aa, because that must be what they are drinking in statehouse if they think we will fall for that bullcrap again. “Usiguze murima“ for two years but when allegedly more than 70 kids were killed in a school fire, the truthful man said nothing, Instead they manufactured a distracting beef with that soprano guy, who cares what Kindiki is saying man, Kids are dead.
Just this week I read in an article that someone,I am not going to mention who it is, signed off our Airport to be run for 30 years by a private Indian company called Adani Commercial, It was Kipchumba Murkomen.
To prove that he wasn’t playing games, the president transferred him to the ministry of sports, ain’t that something? The probability that you will be alive in 30 years is 0.3 if you are older than 40, it might be of old age or disease, but if you are below 29,it will be because William Ruto’s police shot you at a peaceful protest, which you did not even attend. The police are shooting teargas and live bullets INSIDE estates and apartments, see the jokes I told you about? I don’t even have to try.
SIDENOTE
I commenced writing this article late last month before it was confirmed that actually these damn negroes actually sold the fuckin airport! I was going to say it as a joke but it’s now confirmed that they have sold the whole thing plus a few more na hii hesabu hai Adani up, yaani we elected a bunch of clueless clowns? or are we the clowns here? omg are we the joke?
Everytime I see the news, it is always the government losing some more money to corruption, like daily, not even like, Daily. We haemorrage money like gunshot victims, ooh wait, we are. Our former President H.E Kamwana the First, was on record saying his government lost Ksh 2B everyday to corruption.Just for context, here is what that huge amount of money can do.
If we lost 2B daily in 2021, imagine how much we are losing now that our most economic export is political opulence. Kenyan legislators have been ranked the second-highest paid lawmakers in the world, beating every other Nation in the world except Nigeria. For you to even be compared to Nigeria, you have to be bottom of the barrel ,and I mean the empty barrel they are left with after oil they drilled is taken by foreign companies. Nigeria catching strays, yikes, I am killing this humor piece.
Actually Kenya has so many Nigerian aliens in Nairobi that we have started having daily blackouts like Lagos. But do you know the saddest thing about us joining Ikorodu twitter? the blackouts are not even genuine, they want to sell Kenya Power to that Indian company. Look, I understand rich indians are powerful but I really doubt that’s the kind of power Kenyans need, If Tiger power and everyready of shika paka power couldn’t help KPLC, who the heck does Opiyo Wandayi think he is?
Walking along Kilimani inroads feels like a crossover of a Nigerian movie and a Dj Afro Kung Fu movie, all you see are Nigerians in Chinese apartments or Chinese chasing Nigerians from their apartments, it’s like Rush Hour 254, I am not being racist I know Jackie Chan is Japanese. That is the joke we have become ,the land of opportunities for foreigners, while our president is tengaing mikakati for the youth to be househelps in Saudi Arabia and unskilled labourers in Germany. if Saudi Arabia and Germany are that lucrative why doesn’t he resign and go vie there? Sadly for him Saudi would be hard as it is a islam monarch, becoming a chancellor in Germany seems viable though ,owing to his talent of acquiring fake degrees.
While our president is busy launching cyber cafe’s calling them ICT HUBS, serious president’s are actually empowering their youth through real projects and not roadside declarations. Tell me any other president you have seen on top of his vehicle “addressing“ imaginary haters, bro we hate you for real. Here in our lovely motherland, Disciple levy is on top of his Lexus everyday speaking 90% lies and 10% garbage, he even lied about garbage in Dandora, do you know how crazy it is for a person who speaks garbage to lie about garbage? . Listen church, I do lie, sometimes not everytime, but this sick Negro lies every opportunity he gets, chronically, it’s like cancer but of the truth. Ironically if it was a physical disease he would die from it because they are now taxing cancer treatment, Anyway.
On other news, Acting IG of Police, Mr Masengeli was given a six month jail term for contempt of court, and instead of going to jail, he withdrew the security of the judge who gave him the sentence, brilliant. Why go to jail when you can just commit another crime right? By withdrawing his security cover Masengeli butchered the old adage that goes “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover“ , he left with the judge, the book, the cover; he literally discredited wahenga. The reason for the withdrawal is even crazier, he says they went for further training on “VIP protection.“ So instead of protecting the VIP at hand, they first need to up their game, this is like a threat? How do you know that what is coming for me is harder than what my security is ready for?
Anyway church, In a stunning display of poor leadership, we have a president who lies with the frequency of a toddler throwing tantrums in a candy store, a deputy who exhibits a remarkable talent for invisibility during crisis, truly Houdini would be proud, and a government that has mastered the art of plundering the nation’s coffers with all the grace of a bull in a china shop. It's almost as if they’re holding a competition to see who can be the most shameless, with the grand prize being the eternal disdain of the very citizens they swear to serve. Asanteni sana!
